Having an open conversation with your spouse about financial goals and financial realities can go a long way toward fostering peace in your relationship. Money is one of the most frequent causes of conflict in a marriage. If you can figure out how to make peace about money, your relationship will certainly be smoother.
My husband and I have had many money problems, but we rarely fight about money. There are several reasons why.
First, we talk about money a lot. Even though I do all of the bill paying, Jim always has a pretty good idea of how much money we have in the bank, what bills are coming up, and how much we can afford to spend at any given time.
We’re not independent. Though we spend small amounts of money without consulting each other, we discuss big purchases. In better financial times, I would call Jim before spending over $100 on something. Now that money is tight, I can’t imagine making a $50 purchase without letting him know.
We try to understand each other. Instead of getting angry when I see Jim walk in the door with a $6 Fantasy Football magazine, I try to look at things from his point of view. He enjoys Fantasy Football (and basketball, and baseball…), and in the grand scheme of things, $6 isn’t a big deal. So I let him enjoy it. And he does the same for me. I’m sure he doesn’t get why I love shopping at Bath & Body Works, but he gives me the freedom to shop without complaining about it. Arguments crop up when one person tries to take complete financial control. Marriage is a partnership.
Finally, we don’t keep secrets from each other. I’ve written about this before, but I think it’s worth repeating. Honesty is important in marriage. If you’re lying to your spouse about money, what else are you lying about? Even if the conversation is uncomfortable, give your partner the respect of a straightforward conversation, rather than sneaking around behind his back.
Good luck, and set a time to have that conversation!
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I'm just an average mom, trying to live a frugal life and get out of debt. I write about things that have (and haven't) worked to improve my family's financial situation. What works for me may or may not work for you, and you should always consult a financial advisor before making important financial decisions.
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