Are You Willing to Jump Out of the Boat?
Last night I went to my ladies Bible study at church. We’re studying John, the beloved disciple, but last night there was a little section on Peter. A section that spoke to me.
After Jesus died & rose again, the disciples were in a boat fishing. They saw a man on shore, and when they realized the man was Jesus, Peter jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. He loved Jesus so much that he didn’t care what the others thought of him.
Bear with me for a few more minutes. This isn’t a sermon, I promise. Believe me when I say I’m no preacher!
I got to thinking. Obviously the lesson was about devotion to Jesus and whether I love him so much that I don’t care what others think. I’m working on that. I still care a little bit too much about what others will think of me.
But this is a lesson easily applied to frugality as well. Especially for someone like me who is frugal, because I want to be a good steward of what the Lord has given me. It all ties together.
How influenced (or not) are you by what others think? Are you convicted enough about your financial goals that you don’t care? Or do you find yourself spending money, because you’re afraid of what others will think of you? Are you like Peter, who was willing to make a fool of himself, because of his deep conviction and belief?
Would you be OK with driving an older car, if it meant you didn’t have car payments? Would you be OK with renting a house, instead of buying, because you want to save a big down payment? Are you OK with shopping at thrift stores, when everyone else is wearing brand names? How about Christmas shopping? Do you feel pressure to spend a certain amount?
I’m pretty comfortable with my frugality. Most of the time I don’t care what other people think of my frugal ways. After all, Dave Ramsey says to live like no one else today, so you can live like no one else tomorrow.
For those of you who aren’t big Dave Ramsey fans, what he means is that if you cut your budget to the max today so you can get out of debt (even if your friends think you’re weird), you’ll be able to live a financially secure future. Your house will be paid for and your retirement will be taken care of, while those who were spending left and right earlier are scrimping to get by. It’s a good concept.
So when it comes to frugality, I’m swimming in the sea, happily making a fool of myself. Now I just have to take that attitude and apply it to my faith.
So how about you? Do you care what others think of your frugality? Or is peer pressure something you struggle with?
Photo by StormyDog.
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By Lynnae McCoy, on Oct 8, 2009
I'm Lynnae, wife of one and stay-at-home mom of two. I'm committed to getting out of debt by being frugal with my choices in life.
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WOW. What a great post for me to read today. We’re is a pickle right now because of this very thing. 18 months ago, I was in a minor fender bender (I saw minor because no one was hurt and the truck I ran into didn’t suffer any damage. My minivan, however, was smashed in a little on the right side).
My husband didn’t care at all that our van wasn’t in perfect shape. And normally, I wouldn’t care, I think. But I hated pulling into my friend’s driveway and seeing all of my other friends’ brand new SUVs and minivans.
Since our insurance deductible is pretty high, we decided not to get it fixed. But in the last few months, when a lot of my friends were buying new minivans with the Cash for Clunkers incentives (ugh), I started to get really self-conscious about my banged up – but paid for – minivan. So self-conscious that I talked him into getting it repaired.
Turns out the shop that we chose is going through a financial, worker turnover crisis. Our van has sat in their garage for more than a week with no progress. We’ve been told numerous times that it will be done in a few days, but finally, last night, they told us they don’t know when it will be done, but they’ve already spent our deposit on supplies, so either we’re out $300 or we wait for them to finish it.
I believe with my whole heart that God is teaching me a lesson about appearances. If my van, which God has blessed me with, isn’t good enough for me, then he’ll take it away for a while. I WISH I had my banged up van back, with it’s 99,000 miles and goldfish crackers smashed into the carpet.
Good post! And sorry for writing a book on my first comment to your page!
I just wrote a post about this! I kept getting made fun of for frugality, and I was sick of it. I’ve decided everyone else can jump off the boat if they don’t like it. ;)
I am proud of my frugal ways. I’m glad my daughter tells her friends with pride that the clothes she wears are second-hand (they’re more comfy anyway because they’re already “broken in”). If you demonstrate to your kids this mindset, it will reap them great rewards later in life (i.e. not succumbing to peer pressure regarding material worth and outward appearances).
It’s not about the money you *make*, it’s about the money you *keep*. Usually the people that live the most frugally are the ones that can afford to do the things their spending-neighbors can’t (for example, skip cable/satellite TV in order to afford a nice trip once a year). Who is truly rich then?
Being frugal is not an issue as long as you do not put it on other people or take from others to be frugal. Like trying hard to make others pay for parts of a restaurant bill and that sort of thing. I know someone that made us drive around for a long time just to save 2 cents on gas! That is a tightwad. Being frugal is another matter.
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There’s definitely a difference between being frugal and being cheap. And being cheap is nothing to be proud of.
I care very little about what others think! I am wholly responsible to God for how I do (or do not) manage my resources, and I want to be able to say to Him that I have done my best with what I was given. I have been deeply and richly blessed, and I help others when I can. Past that, I refuse to live my life based on someone else’s opinions.
Thank you for that great insight. I get light-hearted teasing at work all the time for where I shop, etc. But on the other hand, when I have the money to pay cash for something, I get called “money bags”. You would think they would put the two together and realize why we have the money we do.
Thank you for your website. It is an inspiration!
Those that put you down for being ‘tight with money’ are the same ones complaining that they can’t pay the bills, or that payday is too far away, etc.
I have NO problem with NOT spending money around my friends – if we went out on Fridays after work for happy hour, they knew I would have one soda pop (to be social) and nurse it along as I wasn’t buying another one…let alone paying those ridiculous prices for a mixed drink.
And I was the one who never focused on how many days til payday – it wouldn’t have bothered me if it was months away – but they just couldn’t understand the concept of NOT living payday to payday and they’d be bouncing checks the day or two before payday.
But – I was the first one they came to for help in figuring out a budget, or whether something was a good buy or not.
What does it matter what others’ think? A person has to get past that point in their own life before it doesn’t bother them anymore. Good luck with getting there!
Great post, Lynnae. My husband I talk about this quite frequently as he receives a LOT of criticism from his co-workers for driving older vehicles and a 1976 Honda motorcycle. He brings his lunch to work every day (leftovers from the night before, usually), while the others get take out every single day. But, we’ve noticed that my husband has a peace about him that I think drives his co-workers nuts. They are usually hot-tempered and critical, where my husband just shows up and does his job every day. My husband is also pressured by his co-workers to buy new tools, as they do, and I think this may be an example of how ‘misery loves company’. If he gives in to their lifestyle (spending habits), it will make them feel better about themselves.
Thanks!
While it’s obviously wise to live within one’s means, I’m not sure I completely understand Dave Ramsey’s philosophy. He seems to be conveying that getting out of debt will solve people’s financial problems, but there are future financial obligations, debts-in-the-making. For instance, property taxes. When we paid off the mortgages on our houses, we realized that we still don’t own those houses entirely. If we don’t (or can’t) pay the property taxes someday, the houses will be taken away from us. My point is that financial freedom doesn’t come because the last credit card balance was paid off. There are always new ‘debts’ accruing as we live our lives.
Thanks for the post. I don’t care about driving my old van, or buying second hand, or buying generic, and so forth. But I am second guessing about going to my in-laws for Christmas. We usually buy our kids three nice gifts (we tell them they don’t need more gifts than what Jesus received). But I know on Christmas morning, their gifts won’t compare to the load their cousins will get. And my son is probably just old enough to notice the difference. Do I let him notice as a life lesson, or do we stay home this year? Going to the in-laws also means exchanging gifts – with at least six adults and five kids – which is easy for them to afford but not so easy for our one-income family to afford.
I had to laugh at Kristy’s dilemma with the van. Our electric door is broken so I have to manually force it shut while it makes this loud racket. I definitely don’t look cool next to the shiny SUVs! But I don’t want to 800.00 to replace a door!
@ Karyn…. I opted out of the family gift exchange several years ago… my single income (and me with kids and grandkids) could not compete with the dual income one kid no grandkids families who thought nothing of spending $50 on some trivial thing…. I just said, count me out…. worked for me. They weren’t too happy about my chosing not to, but that was not my problem. I did give to some – but smaller sentimental things mostly.
I rent, because I enjoy the convenience of renting and I don’t want the expense or hassle of home ownership. I put up with an astonishing number of rude comments from my co-workers and even subordinates about how could someone in my position live like white trash, etc. They absolutely equate renting with being trashy and disreputable. I have been suspiciously questioned by higher-ups as to why I rent, as if this proves I’ve unstable.
I think this is how poor people got lured into buying houses when they could not afford to do so. The peer pressure to OWN A HOUSE is really tremendous, like you’re un-American if you don’t.
to be brutally honest, i think that my frugality is a means to an end. i am frugal so that i can get a lot of spare cash that i will invest and then become one of the richest men in the world. i think this is in accordance to the bible verse- he who has more will be given to him and he who has little it will be taken away from him and be given to the one that has more. also i dont want to be a fool with money
This is a fantastic post Lynnae. Your thoughts are spot on. You’ve got my mind mulling things over … :)
I’m in a good position where most of my friends are quite as frugal, or try to be, as I am. We actually brag about our frugal finds & share them with one another. At the moment, we don’t feel we can live any other way since we have chosen for me to be a SAHM. Being a SAHM is definitely a challenge & a sacrifice but I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I chose to work I would have other challenges & sacrifices to make. However, I know there are friends & family members who just don’t understand why we’re choosing to struggle financially & I really don’t care what they think. I have a cousin who lives in a nice house, they chose to move to a bigger house when they had their second child so each child could have their own bedroom AND a guest room. That’s nice. They also have 2 nice vehicles &, I’m sure, a nice payment to go along with them. So, she feels she HAS to work. Granted, she likes her job, but she also feels she doesn’t have a choice. We all have choices. It’s such a relief to me to know that we have NO credit card debt & NO car payments. I would be SO much more stressed if we did. All we have is my husband’s student loan & the house. My husband works two jobs just to make ends meet. We buy very few extras because we just don’t have the funds. We do struggle with discontentment from time-to-time but that’s a spiritual issue, a sin we’re working on correcting, because we believe with our whole hearts that Mom belongs at home. So, to answer your question, no, for the most part, I don’t worry about what others think of my frugality but, rather, I relish in it. What I do struggle with is how people view my appearance or attitude. That can really bring me down. Sorry for rambling so, I guess I had a lot to say.
i totally agree with this, my car is a 2001 and i tell every one i am going to drive it forever and i am never buying another car b/c it’s mine and the day i paid it off (with a whole paycheck that had me broke for two weeks) was the best day of my life. i don’t ever want another car payment again, ever. i wrecked it a couple years ago and several people suggested i would be better off buying another car, but there was no way. my boyfriend replaced a head light for me, and i saved the money to get the hood replaced, along with the minimal damage under the hood. before that i had to save to get the AC fixed as well b/c of the accident. i would do it all over if it meant not having a car payment again for the next five years.
all I know is that the day I learned all the money comes from God and belongs to Him anyway, I was free (from money stuff, I still have many other issues.)
I am a single mom of two boys, and I homeschool and work part time yet I am about to buy my first house with 15% down. God allowed this to happen.
Trust Him with your money (and everything else.) He knows what He is doing!!!
I had to respond to this because it made me think of my mom. She was the most frugal person that I have ever known and she couldn’t have cared less what people think of her. She had a set rotation of clothing that she wore and most of them were from the thrift shop.
I remember lots of times growing up when we were driving around in a junky (well, not completely, it wasn’t like it was all dented up or anything, just older) pickup and people would look at us like we were “trash”. I remember how completely rude a checker was to my mom at the grocery store because she had coupons (this girl had a ton of gold bracelets and makeup on. no nothing against either). I used to be embarassed when I was a kid. Now I want to be just like her.
Rebecca, I respectfully disagree. Your money and well-being is your responsibility and yours alone. To try to shirk this responsibility off on another entity is irresponsible and unproductive. Hard work and ingenuity will bring you the money to take care of yourself and your family, and give you the freedom to help others in the process.
Depends how deep the water is! :)
I actually agree with Rebecca. Do your best and commit the rest. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Anything can happen no matter how well you plan.