The Pull of the Credit Card
Just when I thought I had conquered the debt habit, I found myself in the midst of temptation.
I almost didn’t have a post ready today. I had a hectic day yesterday, and my brain was spent by the time my kids went to bed. I turned in for the night without writing a post.
But then I couldn’t sleep. I got up for a while, and decided to read my feeds. I came across a post by Gibble about a nightmare he had about credit cards. That got me thinking. And soon, I was writing. And this is what I think about in the wee hours of the night, when there are no distractions.
At the end of Gibble’s post, he promised his readers that he would never carry another credit card in his wallet. Since I cut up my credit cards, I feel the same way. Especially lately.
I don’t know if the rest of you are like me, but there’s a mental process that happens when I change a habit. At first I’m gung-ho. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m up for the challenge. That’s how I felt when I started this blog. I knew getting out of debt would be hard, but I was committed. I still am committed, though getting out of debt isn’t a new challenge anymore. It’s just a way of life.
The next stage is fear. That’s what I felt right after I cut up the credit cards. I was excited for sure, but I also had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. “What if there’s an emergency, and I need the card?” During that stage, I had to reassure myself that God had provided for my family thus far, and I needed to continue to trust Him. And I needed to continue to better my financial situation, so worry wouldn’t be an issue anymore.
And that brings me to the next stage in my mental process. Overconfidence. April 2008 marked the one year anniversary of the last time I used a credit card. And in May my husband and I paid off the last of our credit card debt. I was flying high, and I was convinced that my debt habit had been cured. Certainly I would never succumb to the temptation of overspending again!
My friends, overconfidence is the most dangerous feeling there is, when it comes to managing finances. It is when we feel invincible that we get careless. We begin thinking we can handle things that we can’t. Much like an alcoholic who has been sober for a year thinks when he walks into a bar. “I can handle it.” And then it’s too late.
As we’ve been preparing to move, I’ve been looking at appliances. We need a refrigerator, and I’d like a new range. And as I was browsing different websites, looking at different appliances, I found myself coveting appliances that are beyond what I can afford.
And these appliances come with some great offers. 12 months same as cash. 10% off if you use your Sears card. Only $26 per month. I could easily afford $26 a month.
As I sat there looking at these websites, I realized that if I had a credit card on hand, it would be easy to talk myself into making the purchase right then and there. Just like the way I talked myself into the upgrades on the computer we charged a couple of years ago. And the clothes I used to buy for my children, even though they didn’t need them.
I came to a sinking realization. I’m not cured. I may never be cured. The temptation to buy more than I can afford may always be there. And it’s not helped by all the clever marketing techniques used by the stores. And who can blame them? Their job is to make money. My job is to control my spending.
That sinking realization soon turned to hope. It’s good to realize I’m not invincible. If I know I can’t handle credit cards, I can always be on guard to stand against temptation. This is where my mind needs to be. I need not fear. I dare not be over confident. But recognizing the situation for what it is enables me to deal with it.
I’m reminded of a Bible verse that has to do with temptation.
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22
Flee and pursue. Even though this verse isn’t specific to debt and overspending, it is applicable. It’s easy to remember to flee. Shut down the internet browser if you’re shopping online. Walk out of the store.
But unless your replace the bad behavior with a good behavior (the pursuing), your mind will remain stuck on your desire, and you will be tempted to return to shopping.
But if you pursue righteousness…balance your checkbook, check in with an accountability partner, write down all the reasons you’re glad you’re getting out of debt…the temptation fades. At least that’s what I’ve found in my own life.
So if you’re facing temptation, flee the bad, and pursue the good.
Have you ever backslidden in a habit you thought you’d conquered? How did you deal with it? And how do you deal with temptation to overspend?
Photo by szlea.
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By Lynnae McCoy, on Aug 7, 2008
I'm Lynnae, wife of one and stay-at-home mom of two. I'm committed to getting out of debt by being frugal with my choices in life.
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I have a yarn collecting habit that I cannot seem to get rid of! I will get my yarn pared down to a reasonable amount (say, what I can use in a month), then all of a sudden, it multiplies overnight all by itself. Well, maybe not all by itself. Maybe somebody gave me a bag full. Or maybe I was at a rummage sale and got a bag full for a dollar. I’ve also become slightly (is that possible) addicted to CVSing and dumpster diving. Not sure if those are bad habits?
My temptation to overspend is usually on groceries, hobby supplies, or things for my daughter. Not that I am buying any single thing that costs a lot, but I will find a deal that is too good to pass up and sometimes I just cannot pass it up. I need help with that. I need to be okay with letting a good deal go sometimes.
Sounds exactly like what I’ve gone through with weight loss! I lost 40 pounds 2 years ago, and I find that now that the weight is off it’s MUCH harder to maintain as time passes.
When I was losing, my weight loss was enough to keep me motivated. When I first reached my goal, I could easily remember what it felt like to be overweight and think, “I don’t ever want to be there again.” But now, two years later, it’s harder to remember the bad stuff and easier to remember how good high-calorie food tastes.
It helps me to think back to the first days of my diet when I was SO excited, and to remind myself of how it felt to watch the numbers go down on the scale. Focusing on the positive feelings (like how it feels to watch your debt dwindle) instead of the negative feelings associated with the habit helped me feel motivated again instead of feeling bad about myself.
For me, making myself feel bad only makes me feel weaker and more likely to give in to the temptation. If I empower myself with positivity, then I feel strong enough to resist!
Hi Lynnae,
What a great post – you keep us all inspired by your openness about your struggles. I too have been wanting new appliances and looking at the new stainless ones, but then reality kicks in and I think do I really want to pay these off for the next couple of years? Plus, those stainless ones will look just as dated in a few years as the harvest gold and avacado green. I’m sticking with basic white and in my price range.
Thanks for always “keeping it real” and keeping us on track!
Blessings!
I SO know what you are struggling with with those appliances. My thoughts? Buy the used stove for $50 or so (what they go for around here) until you can save up for the new one. (or decide you can live with the used one) A used stove will do the job – a new one IS a luxury. But a new frig is NOT a luxury in my book.
But the refrig? I still just think you will be throwing money away if you go with the used frige unless it is very very new…. If you spend $400-$600 on it, and then save up and get the new one in 2 years, you basically will have wasted the $400-$600 (unless you keep it for an overflow+ frig etc)
To me, when you can buy a new frig for $600-$800 it seems like it’s costing more in the long run to buy used and then buy new. You use it every day – it takes care of your investment (your food and family health) and it’s GOT to be user friendly to enable you to save money on your groceries and cooking. If your frig is not FUN to use (meaning it is a PAIN to use) you are not going to be mentally up to using it right and allowing it to help you save money.
I can’t see something costing you more money in the long run just because you don’t want to use credit… I thoroughly understand where you are coming from on that tho. Maybe a compromise? Put your $600 down on the new frig, charge the $200 of $300 difference, and pay off in 30,60,90 just like cash. That’s my solution – but it may not work for you. Sometimes there is room to compromise on the no credit thing if it saves you money in the long run. (in my opinion)
About color – mine are ALL white… in my pale yellow/pale green sunshiny kitchen with white trim, they just lighten the place up and I don’t mind the color at all – it’s light and cheery.
Try the scratch and dent depts of the appliance stores for a bargain. Also – try small mom/pop appliance stores – you may get a better deal – I sure did :)
Yes – I backslide all the time – my downfall is diet soda pop – I quit, and then I start up again – time after time… even tho I like flavored homebrewed teas, I still backslide, because pop is so much easier – no bottles to fill and take to work – just grab pop and run with it.
How do I deal with the temptation to overspend? I put the item on a list hanging in the kitchen cupboard. If I still want the item in 6 months, or a year, then I buy it. (if i’ve saved up the cash for it) A lot of times the item falls off the list before that, or I find a garage sale or one a friend doesn’t want anymore. The list has REALLY helped.
I struggle with this all of the time and then I just feel sick to my stomach. We haven’t yet had the strength to cut up the cards and recently used on on vacation. I promised myself I would pay it off with cash and when all was said and done, something else came up and right back in the dang cycle of it all..
Thank you for your post…
Ok – maybe I gave you the right answer for ME, but not for you….. Sorry…. Thinking it over, maybe you should just find a used $100 frig and use it til you save the $$ for a new one… You’ll get sooo tired of the darned old unfriendly thing, that you (being you) will have the money saved in no time at all!
But to me that’s still “Penny wise but pound foolish”…. ie, costing more in the long run.
But you would avoid using credit that way :)
Thank you for your honesty. I just wrote a post last night on my blog about trusting God with our finances. We feel like God is calling us to seminary school. That would be mean a great opportunity for ministry for our little family, but it also means more school debt. We have prayed and prayed all summer that God will help us to do this without any debt. We are still waiting to hear from the school, and it is so challenging. I have learned to preach to my self when I feel the worry creeping into my heart.
http://debtfreedowds.wordpress.....rbs-307-9/
The thing about being responsible about your finances is you’ve always got to keep your guard up. My husband and I have never had any trouble overspending with our credit cards, but still the 12 month same as cash stuff has tempted us. Why pay it all now when you don’t have to right?
I’d venture to say you are somewhat cured because you didn’t immediately apply for a card that would have allowed you to pay just $26 a month. The temptation will always be there to some extent, whether the plastic is in your hands or not.
I went years without a credit card and felt so proud to say i had no debt and then when i tried to get my first mortgage i discovered that not having a credit card and some debt on it that it counted against me in getting a mortgage.
I couldn’t believe it and ever since then i am afraid i have owned a credit card. However the most i have ever had outstanding on it is £500 and thats only because the boiler broke.
But i do find it appaling that the world runs on debt and that being debt free is not seen as a badge of honor but as a handicap
Hi, Just found your blog from Simple Mom. Great post. Very helpful and uesfull skills that we need in our daily life!!
But, way behind in the areas of money. I’ll need to go back to step one- not using the CC.
Flee and pursue. Will do!
I posted this comment on a feed, but mean to here…
It’s really not about the credit cards, is it? It’s about self-control and discipline. And being clear on wants vs. needs.
I have two credit cards—an American Express (which earns points for hotels or airlines) and a Mastercard (which earns airline points). I charge everything I possibly can on these cards (regularly credited bills, my semi-annual insurance (auto, house), my dentist (nothing like getting points for getting a cavity filled), etc. and I pay both of these cards off monthly. I haven’t had a finance charge on either card for over 5 years. I’m what’s known in “the biz” as “a convenience charger.”
This is money that is going to be spent anyway. Why not get something for free from them? I end up with at least two or three free flights (or stays in hotels) each year, just for paying bills that I have to pay anyway. :-)
Credit cards don’t kill… people do. :-) :-) :-)
Why is it so hard not to spend money you don’t have? Just don’t spend it. I mean, if you have a known income, just spend less than it. I guess if your income is really way below a manageable middle-class level, I understand. But otherwise just don’t buy stuff. No one makes you buy things…