You Tell Me: Do You Have a Will?
It’s the end of the year, and I’m trying to put things in order to gear up for the new year. One thing my husband and I really need to do is revise our will.
We actually have a will, though it was written long before our second child was born. Since it was written, we have moved to another city, had another child, and our financial situation has changed somewhat. So, it’s time to revise.
Last year we learned the hard way what happens when you don’t have a will. My father-in-law passed away a year ago without a valid will. Fortunately his estate was pretty small, and he had no dependents, so everything was pretty straightforward even without the will. The whole process would have gone a little bit more quickly if he had had a will, though.
What are some reasons that people don’t have their wills drawn up? I think one of the main reasons is that they don’t want to face their own mortality. I’m a safety person, so that reason doesn’t really bother me. I’d much rather have things official and taken care of before I die.
Another reason is lack of money. When you have children, you want to make sure everything is done correctly, so there is no question as to who will be in charge of your children when you die. This means contacting a lawyer, which costs money. I think our will cost about $500 eight years ago, and it was very basic. Still, it’s important to make sure your children are taken care of if you die.
And that brings me to another big reason people have a hard time making a will. Who will take care of the children? I think this is the primary reason we haven’t revised our will. Our families aren’t ideal candidates for raising our children, due to health and lifestyle issues. So we have to try to find friends who wouldn’t mind raising our children and who wouldn’t mind accommodating our extended family as well.
It’s a tough decision, and one not to be taken lightly. Still, it’s a decision that has to be made. Now we just have to make it.
So, do you have a will? If not, why not?
Photo by tata aka T.
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By Lynnae McCoy, on Dec 14, 2007
I'm Lynnae, wife of one and stay-at-home mom of two. I'm committed to getting out of debt by being frugal with my choices in life.
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This is a tough topic that we need to deal with…
It can make things so much easier for the people we leave behind. Especially while they are going through the grieving process. It really is a wonderful gift to our families to just do this thing.
@dawn – Wills definitely make it easier on the family. If you have a will, your family can focus on grieving. If not, there’s a lot of other stuff that will need to be dealt with at a difficult time.
Amanda – You’re absolutely right. Last year when my FIL went into the hospital, my husband needed to make the decision whether or not to intubate him. It was perhaps the most difficult decision of his life. It would have been much easier if things had been clearly written out. My husband and I both have a medical directive and power of attorney.
I’ve had a will since I was in my early 20′s and revised it after marrying this year. Please also look into a medical directive and a power of attorney. Those things are important and give instructions about what to do if you are on life-support, in a situation like Terri Schaivo. A POA will also allow your spouse to pay bills and conduct other legal business if you are incapacitated. It’s incredibly important that they can access your bank accounts or sell property if necessary.
GL!
I say, don’t worry about working out who has the kids. If you’re both hit by a bus tomorrow, then as it stands what will happen to the kids?
That is currently the worst case. If you can’t think of a really good solution, either formalise the existing one, or the next best that you can think of.
For the sake of your children, it’s more important to make a decision, than to make the perfect decision, you can always change it later. Also, if it’s really wasn’t working out for the kids, and someone else could take over, then they could probably obtain custody – nothing is ever set in stone.
@Eden – I don’t know anything about U.S. Legal Forms, but my FIL did his own will (that was found invalid). The main problem we came across was that since it wasn’t filed in the state where he lived, and the witnesses couldn’t be located, it was declared invalid.
So if you do your own will, make sure it’s notorized or something. :) If we didn’t have any kids, I’d probably go the do-it-yourself route too. Kids change everything, though.
We will set up a will in conjunction with a trust. Make sure if you have a trust you evaluate your will at the same time, because sometimes they can lock each other and tie things up for years! We are working on compiling everything now.
I do not have a will yet, though it is high on my to-do list. I actually jokingly told my wife we should make that our Christmas presents to each other this year. :)
I really want to try doing it myself with U.S. Legal Forms. Anyone have experience with them? We have no kids and basically no assets (just lots of debt). I imagine we could do our own for now and get one done by an attorney at a later date when we have more stuff and more money to pay for a will.
We don’t yet…but we have no kids and own pretty much everything together. We’re not sure when we’re going to get them, but definitely once I get pregnant, if not before…
We still don’t have one – it always comes down to ‘who would get the kids’ for us. Right now we don’t have a viable option for them and so we still sit here without a will. How sad is it that it is that hard to find someone who would treasure and raise our kids…
We have a will. We had our lawyer do it up with us when dh lost his sister 4 years ago (her husband had died the previous year) they left behind two beautiful children ages 12 and 15 back then. They also did not have any life insurance etc…
We have our will, life insurance and mortgage life insurance.
Lynnae, I would happily take on your children if God Forbid, something happened to you and Jim!!!
Kris and I plan to do this very thing this year! Thanks for reminding me!!
No Will, but I have a brother named Mike.
Seriously, we don’t – if I go, my wife gets it. If she goes, I get it. If we both go, well – who cares, we won’t be here.
But once we have kids, forget it – you gotta have a will.
Yes, I have a will. I actually got it written using a Suze Orman CD that I got at Costco. It also did lots of other stuff like help you put advanced health care directives together. That was dollars well spent.
Just ran across this good blog and thought about you ;)
http://www.wisebread.com/is-it.....ur-parents
A standard will should never have cost you $500.00. The lawyer who did ours 10 years ago said that unless you have a great deal of wealth– a simple will is sufficient. We got ours free because our daughter worked for this lawyer. However, the cost was only $50.00 at that time. There are probably some places on line where you can download the papers, fill them out and then get an official seal. Banks will do that for you.